Far From Home

"To live is Christ, to die is gain." These words penned by Paul in the first chapter of Philippians always seemed to get to me. I could never really grasp why Paul would want to die when he had so much going for him here on this earth. He was fulfilling his God-given purposes, he was fruitful reaching people for the Kingdom, what more could there be? It wasn't until my perspective and my understanding changed that I realized his true heart's desire. I couldn't relate to Paul's words because heaven and eternity with Christ were not my ultimate heart's desire. Yes, I had accepted Christ and walked with Him for quite awhile, however, my eyes and heart were still focused on and attached to this world in which we live. I had yet to comprehend my misplaced priorities. But as only God can do, He showed me what my longing for home should be.

Far From Home

The orange blinking light at the immigration desk confirmed what my heart and brain hadn't fully realized. I was not home anymore. The word "foreigner" in bold letters now summoned me and this would be the title I would wear in China for the next 2 to 3 years. I was a person far from home in a strange land.

At first the impact and the significance of it all did not bother me. I was starting an exciting new adventure! However, it did not take long for me to fully understand that this new place was different and not at all what I was used to. The sights, the smells, and the sounds did not register in my brain as familiar. Day by day my lack of comfort with the unfamiliar unsettled me. As the realization of my situation began to sink in, my heart cried out for home!

But as quickly as my longing for home swelled within my heart, God revealed a new understanding to my spirit. This new insight cut through me, "Just as this new place is not your real home, neither is this earth your real home. Just as you long for "home" (aka the States), you should long for heaven in the same way." My heart sank because I knew the words God had spoken to me were true. I was saddened that I longed more for my earthly home than my heavenly one. At the same, however, joy overwhelmed me. I realized that although God had gently rebuked me, He also allowed me this experience so that I could truly understand what the longing for our true home should feel like! My heart now cries out for my heavenly home with much more meaning and desire.

Time is passing quickly here in this distant land and with each new day my surroundings are becoming more familiar to me. I know that I will never fully fit in here, never speak the language, nor wear any other title other than "foreigner". That is fine by me. No matter where I am on this earth, that is how it will always be. I know that one day, when God decides to call me to my true home in heaven with Him, I will go right to the "resident" line to get in!