Learning to accept "No"

If you have children, or even grandchildren, do you remember the first time you had to tell them "No"? Perhaps it was for their safety as you told them not to touch the hot stove. Maybe you spoke those words as you refused to let them have another piece of candy, knowing it was for their good. Or maybe you were simply teaching them obedience when you let them know they were not to walk on the newly mopped floor. This small yet powerful word is one of the first words that our children learn in this world. But what happens when they have to accept "No" in a new way?

Nothing has been harder for me this week than helping my 12 year old daughter, Kayley, learn to accept "No" from her Heavenly Father. Let me explain. Because cell phones are so cheap here in China we gave Kayley one as a Christmas gift. She loved it of course, and has been very responsible with it. Last Friday, however, it disappeared. We don't know if someone stole it or if it simply dropped out of her bag. Either way it has yet to be found. We have always taught our girls that they can pray to God about anything, so Kayley asked that we pray to find her phone. Several days have passed and the phone has yet to turn up. Driving home in the car Kayley started crying over the missing phone and asked why God wasn't answering her prayer. She couldn't understand why she didn't have her phone back, and began to question if God even heard her prayers. I reminded her that God always hears His children, but that sometimes God answers with a yes, a no, or a wait. In this case I'm afraid it may be a "No". This is such a new reality for Kayley, but one she was bound to encounter.

I just keep thinking how hard it is for me as an adult to accept that occassional "No" from God, and wonder how I can help her grasp this concept as well. I want her to know that God is not rejecting her just because He tells her no, nor do I want her to let this experience keep her from bringing her requests to Him again. I plan to share Scripture with her that explains how God even told Jesus "no", when Jesus asked "that this cup be taken from me" (Matthew 26:39,42), referring to His ultimate suffering. God's purpose of salvation was to be fulfilled in Jesus' suffering and for Him to have answered with anything other than "No" would have been a loss of hope for all of us. Obviously God has something bigger than a cell phone being returned in store for Kayley. Though I know it will work out for God's glory and Kayley's good, it's still hard to watch.

Learning to accept "No" from our earthly parents and our Heavenly One is not always an easy thing. However, it is necessary for us to grow and mature. Through this acceptance we learn obedience, gain blessing, and receive safety. May there be a lesson in this for all of us.