Peace Robber

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10

Evening times in our home have not been the most fun lately. What should be a time of togetherness for the few hours we have each day, quickly becomes a war zone. Shouting, fighting, and anger flare up like fireworks on the fourth of July. It's not a pretty sight to say the least.

I began to pray that God would bring calmness over our home during this time, but as the days continued in chaos I wondered if my prayers were only hitting the ceiling. In frustration I decided not to pray for calmness but for God to get to the root of the problem - if the devil was instigating these stressful evenings, help us not fall trap to them. But to simply blame the devil for all our problems isn't really all that fair. I mean he may have set the trap, but we chose to walk in it.

So I decided to look hard at the root of the problem for me. What was causing me to lose my peace every evening? After much soul-searching and reflection, I came up with 4 things that I knew robbed me of my peace.

1. Busy-ness. For a woman who has nothing to do in China, my days seem to fill up quickly. The worst days are those when I try to cram everything into the smallest amount of time. Instead of pacing myself carefully, I go from activity to activity with no time to stop and breathe. When the day is done I'm a train wreck and sure to bulldoze anyone who gets in my way. I have to be more aware of my time and my limits so that I don't overbook myself. Satan may tempt me with many opportunities to occupy my time, I just don't have to take him up on his offer. I need to slow down and schedule carefully so that busy-ness doesn't overtake me or my entire day. "Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." - Ephesians 5:15-16

2. Fatigue. Obviously fatigue is the result of busy-ness. But sometimes my fatigue comes from poor sleep, poor eating, etc. Regardless of the source, when I am tired you just don't want to be around me. So I have to be aware of what is draining me and the times when I feel the most tired. Then I have to make active decisions that will help me overcome the fatigue. One thing I've noticed is that I don't drink enough water and feel sluggish in the late afternoons. I've decided to be more purposeful to eat and drink better at that time so I can make it though the rest of our evening with a better attitude and strength. I'm hoping that little changes like this will make a big difference with my family in the evenings.

3. Unrealistic expectations. I am the worst at expecting the utmost out of my family. I expect them to behave a certain way and do things the way I think they should be done. When they don't fulfill my expectations, I usually lose it and that adds to our friction. I think it's my perfectionist tendencies in overdrive. I have to be very careful to only expect highly of myself (and even that is not always healthy) and not require things of my husband or children they can't possibly meet. Realizing this has really helped me and will hopefully bring much more peace and love into our home.

4. Selfishness. I am selfish, I'll admit it. I like my quiet, my space, and my time to myself. When I am in the middle of a project and I get interrupted I am not all that nice. I call it tunnel vision. God calls it selfishness. I have to make a conscious effort to stop what I'm doing and focus on my family and their needs. That isn't always easy for me, a busy-body doer. To me, there is always something that needs to be done and it has to be done right away or else! Now that I'm taking this writing course, I have to purposefully close my office door at 3 o'clock and prepare for my family and our evenings together. Giving myself this time to forget about what I was working on helps me put my focus on our evening and keeps my selfishness under control. It's like turning a switch from me time to family time. It isn't always easy, but I'm hoping we'll see the difference in our time together because I've quit putting myself first.


I'm not sure what life is like at your house, but I know that ours isn't what it should be. I know that all four of us are responsible for the environment in our home, but knowing what sets me off has helped me to be more patient, loving and kind when everyone else may still have their moments. Sometimes it takes reflection and soul searching to get to the root of the problem you have. It may not be a pretty sight, but the reward will pay big dividends if you are willing to try. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, you just have to dig deep to find it.