Lessons learned

I don't know how many people I've shared this story with before, but I recently had to put it into article form. As I wrote it, I realized what a great lesson God taught me through that situation. He has given me children to care for on this earth for a time, but sometimes He has to take care of things Himself without any parental involvement. This story was one of those times...


Like most parents, I want to do what's best for my children. But sometimes doing nothing on their behalf is as equally important. That's the lesson I learned a few years ago when my oldest daughter, Kayley, was faced with a tough situation at school.

My husband and I first realized something was going on with Kayley during our dinnertime conversations. Discussing the day's events, Kayley would always mention her classmate, Shiloh, when it was her time to share. Over time the stories surrounding Shiloh seemed to become more personal. As we listened to Kayley, our heads knew what our hearts didn't want to believe. Our daughter was being bullied.

Bullying takes many forms and thankfully, our situation was not a violent one. It was a subtle form of bullying, but damaging nonetheless. Shiloh, who was a tomboy, ridiculed Kayley for wearing the color pink in any form, for dressing in skirts,and for participating in girly activities. It was obvious that Shiloh, who deep down wanted to do those things but couldn't, was looking to bring someone down to her level. Unfortunately for us, she chose Kayley.

As we watched Kayley change because of the constant insults and badgering, anger rose up in our hearts. My husband wanted to confront Shiloh's parents about the situation, but for some strange reason I didn't feel led to do that. I told him we just needed to pray and see what God would have us to do.

Many hours were spent in prayer seeking guidance and wisdom. Finally God revealed the direction were were to take in 1 Peter 2:23, "When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered he made no threats. Instead he entrusted himself to him who judges justly." As much as we wanted justice for Kayley's pain, God was asking us not to take action but to trust Him completely in this situation. As hard as it was, we knew we had to follow.

Although we felt God did not want us to take action to correct the situation, that didn't mean we couldn't take action in our trust of him. Prayer became the means by which we exemplified to Kayley our trust that God would handle everything. Every morning we prayed for a wall of protection around Kayley that Shiloh's words could not penetrate, and every night we prayed for Shiloh's heart and attitude to be changed. By the end of the school year we knew that our prayers had been answered. The two girls were not best friends, but the bullying had stopped.

I wish my daughter never had to go through this experience. To this day she still bears the marks that Shiloh inflicted upon her. But looking back I know that she is stronger in her character and in her faith because of it. So am I. By allowing God to handle the situation we all learned valuable lessons. It's in those lessons that we find the greatest treasures.